How's your relationship with your dad?
Today's father's day. Good holiday. I loved my dad so much. Trouble was, we only got to know each other after my mom died--and he was already 72 and it was a hard process. Don't know if other people in my age group noticed the same thing. Seems like when people got married back in the Depression era, many of them became very close. Like a closed society--just the two of them against the world.
That's how it was with my parents--safe in a closed society of their own. They were inseparable in a world of their own; we kids were outsiders they felt an obligation to take care of. And they did a wonderful job. But emotional closeness was a foreign idea to them. Their own upbringing was totally devoid of it, so clearly it wasn't something they knew much about or had any experience with.
Anyway, I don't know if any other single women out there had troubled relationships with their dads, but today seems like a good day to ask the question. Did you? Was your relationship with your dad a real high point of your childhood, or did it leave a lot to be desired? Seems like a question worth asking--and I bet any number of enlightened researchers who care about these things have asked it. Maybe we can find some information about it.
But meanwhile, God bless all fathers. Whatever skills they had, at least we are here because of them. Happy father's day, dads.
3 Comments:
As a dad, this thread is one that interest me. I have three daughters and now that you have brought it up, I will ask them how they feel about it. Thanks for provoking thought.
It wasn't good. He and my mother divorced when I was a little girl. Dad quickly married someone else and doted on her children, while forgetting about his own. I lived with him while I was in late teens, but the relationship did not improve.
Our relationship remained strained pretty much up until the day he died. I made a kind of peace with him while he was on his deathbed, but I still carry around resentment regarding his neglect and abuse.
What a sad thing for you, BT. So much grieving you had to do all those years.
I wonder how many dads truly realize how important they are to their daughters? How a dad treats his daughter can play a big part in how she feels for the rest of her life about herself in general, and particularly in how she relates to men. I remember a few times in my life when I had my father's full attention--and they are precious, precious memories.
And to anonymous dad, you're ahead of the game just by being willing to ask the question.
Thanks to both of you for your thoughtful responses.
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