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8/16/2008

Chicago weekend

Just got down from the top of the Sears Tower where we were treated to the sight of the Blue Angels' hot-shot flying routines. This view is from Union Station. That white building is obscuring the view of the main part of the Tower--all you see in the photo is the very top stem of the black Sears Tower. It's one of those rare perfect-weather weekends.

A friend visiting from Cleveland. Fun to enjoy the city with a visitor. I find that people talk to "us" when I'm with a male more than anyone does when I'm alone. Any other SWWANs notice that?

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find that the degree to which people will talk to me varies by situation and the people. Single guys are less likely to talk to an unattached woman if they are concerned that the woman might think they're trying to pick them up. When I was younger, this meant a lot of men. Now that I'm older, I find that considerably younger men have no trouble talking to me, as they are thinking of me like a big sister or mother. If the guy is with a female companion, there's the chance of making her jealous, but not if you also are accompanied. When I'm dining alone, I find that couples are very likely to talk with me -- and sometimes invite me to join them. This is particularly true if the couples are somewhat older than I am. Of course, it depends on where you are and how approachable you seem. Often, a single woman in the city is doing the classic downtown walk that says "stay away" -- good for keeping bad guys away, but not very inviting of conversation. With a companion, one can relax, and seem more approachable. In a really safe situation--small, town, private club, professional organization -- I feel that people are probably more likely to talk to someone of either gender who is alone.

It's a complex sociological phenomenon that is tied up with avoiding problems while still wanting to connect.

12:03 AM  
Blogger Barbara Payne said...

Thank you for those thoughtful observations, Cynthia. It's been my experience that no matter how friendly and outgoing I am, it's a rare person who will engage me back when I'm alone. But people seem to spontaneously talk to us when I am with a male friend, so it seems pretty dramatic. I think it's a safety issue--safe from another female's jealousy, safe from being thought a pickup artist, safe from being mistakenly thought to be "interested."

Many men tell me, too, that they would never talk to a tall woman--or even sit next to her on a plane or train. So height may have a bearing on how people react as well.

Stuff for our recent radio guest Dr. Kay Trimberger to study--she's a sociologist. Listen to her fascinating commentary on the SWWAN Dive radio show--http://www.blogtalkradio.com/swwan_dive/2008/08/15/The-New-Single-Woman-Uncensored.

8:34 AM  

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