Book review: Missy...being single and hard luck in the old West

Reading an amazing story called Missy by Chris Hannan. It's about a "flash girl" in the gold/silver rushes of the old West. These were prostitutes who were affiliated with an establishment, as opposed to street walkers. Lots of period dialog and details. Compelling story of a young woman whose mother is a total bust-out--playing like she is a lady but being seriously drunk all the time. Abandoned her daughter at age 13.

The daughter keeps following her around the country trying to help her--because she promised her when she was 10 that she would always take care of her. The daughter is addicted--like so many people of the time, particularly women--to opium in various forms. It was a drugstore remedy available to everyone and cheap. Still the
daughter maintains a semblance of sanity compared to her mom. Many scenes of
violence described with the dispassionate voice of someone who's simply
used to it. Hard to put down.

Good reminder of some of the progress that's been made for single working women in our world.

Urgent action call - women deserve better than abstinence-only

This message may resonate with many single working women. Thanks to the Chicago Foundation for Women for sharing this important information.

Since 1996, the federal government has poured more than $1.5 billion into abstinence-only-until-marriage programs. In 2008 alone, it was $178 million.

President Obama is putting together his proposed budget for 2010, and as he has assured the nation he will be on the lookout for failed programs that deserve to be eliminated. We have an easy cut to suggest: End federal funding for the failed abstinence-only-until-marriage experiment.

Here are some facts for free: Research proves these programs don't work. The programs prohibit teachers from discussing contraception, except to describe their failure rates. The lesson plans frequently teach young people sexist gender stereotypes and medically inaccurate information.

When should you act? Today.
By the end of February, President Obama plans to send his 2010 budget to Congress.

What can you do? Click here to email the White House now. http://capwiz.com/cfw/issues/alert/?alertid=12722606&external_id=10163.-1757079

SuperBowl ads ignore women

Thanks to AskPatty for pointing this out on AdWeek. Did you watch the game? Did you see the famed SuperBowl ads?

I was stunned to see in one of the first ones the man is eating something or other (I had to go look it up to remember that it was Doritos) that allows him to make magic things happen--and the first thing he does is cause an attractive woman's clothes to be stripped off her body. She's standing there in her black bra, black underpants, and black GARTER BELT and stockings. Huh? What day and age is this?

If nearly half of the SuperBowl audience is women, and those women make 50 to 90% of the buying decisions in any particular sector of this country's economy, what are you accomplishing by pandering to male fantasies and completely ignoring women's sensibilities?

Never mind the GoDaddy ad suggesting women should shower together online to entertain male customers. What? I wonder how many of GoDaddy's customers are women--women who increasingly set up web sites and need hosting and other services.

What's the conclusion we can reach? That the companies that make the billions of dollars necessary to be able to spend millions on SuperBowl ads know the research--that 38% of the SuperBowl audience is female--and just plain don't care. We've come a long way, baby...not.

A beautiful Valentine idea for all SWWANs and friends

Thanks for this wonderful idea from Beth Bradfish, single-working-woman publisher of Express Harmonies and owner of Beth Bradfish, Inc. workshops and seminars.

A Heart-made Valentine
February, 2009

"Get out your scissors and paste." Remember the valentines you made when you were a kid? How much fun was that?!

Here's a way to do that again with a grown-up twist that promises a powerful impact.

Step 1. Thinking about your loved one, identify his or her three greatest strengths. If you need some words to choose from, try this list from Martin Seligman's Authentic Happiness (Simon & Schuster, 2002): curiosity, love of learning, judgment, ingenuity, social intelligence, perspective, value, perseverance, integrity, kindness, loving, citizenship, fairness, leadership, self-control, prudence, humility, appreciation of beauty, gratitude, hope, spirituality, forgiveness, humor and zest.

Step 2. For each of the strengths you choose for your loved one, write down a recent admirable example in which he or she displayed this strength. (See #1 below for an example of what this might look like.)

1. Strength: KINDNESS

Example: Monday, before you left for work, you cleaned the snow and ice off my car windows. That was so kind of you and reminds me of all the kind and thoughtful things you do for me and so many other people.

2. Strength: _________________

Example:

3. Strength: _________________

Example:

Step 3. Draw a nice big red heart around what you've written and hand it to your loved one on Valentine's Day. (And then wait for a big smile to break out!)

"What underlies this exercise is the importance of the ideal self, both in our own mind and in that of our partner. The ideal self is the image we hold of the very best we are capable of, our highest strengths realized and active. When we feel that we are living up to the ideals that we hold most dearly, we are gratified, and exercising these strengths produces more gratification. When our partner sees this as well, we feel validated, and we work harder not to disappoint our partner's faith in us." --Martin Selgman from Authentic Happiness.

Creating a new vision of our world

Love this idea. They're called "common security clubs," and they're all about looking at our personal, national and global economic issues together with a view to understanding--and changing--the forces at work on us all. Groups of 10 to 20 adults meet, either independently or affiliated with an institution (religious secular or otherwise) for a minimum of 5 times and then decide how they want to proceed. This is a concept with promise for single working women battling things all alone out there--generating ideas where working together we can improve each other's economic security.

 

Some questions to build club activities around:

1) Learn and reflect
Through popular education tools, videos, Bible study (if Christian church-affiliated), and shared readings, participants increase their understanding of the larger economic forces on our lives. Why is the economy in distress? How did these changes happen? What are the historical factors? How does this connect to the global economy? What are the ecological factors contributing to the changes? What is our vision for a healthy, sustainable economy? What are the sources of real security in my life?

2) Mutual aid and local action
Through stories, examples, Web-based resources, a workbook, and mutual support, participants reflect on what makes them secure. What can we do together to increase our economic security at the local level? What would it mean to respond to my economic challenges in community? How can I reduce my economic vulnerability in conjunction with others? How can I get out of debt? How can I help my neighbor facing foreclosure or economic insecurity? Can I downscale and reduce my consumption and ecological footprint and save money?

3) Social action
The economic crisis is in part the result of an unengaged citizenry and government. What can we do together to build an economy based on building healthy communities rather than shoring up the casino economy? What public policies would make our communities more secure? Through discussion and education, participants might find ways to engage in a larger program of change around the financial system, economic development, tax policy, and other elements of our shared economic life.

Great ideas. Thanks to Jillian for sharing. Read more here http://www.sojo.net/index.cfm?action=magazine.article&issue=soj0902&article=we-re-in-this-together.