How are you going green?

Someone in a Chicago women's help network asked this question today--what are you doing to go greener in your everyday life? I put together a quick list of some of the things I do. Love to hear your ideas, too.

• I use Handi-Wipes instead of paper towels for most jobs (except for throw-away jobs like cleaning up really gooey stuff or broken glass). They last a long time and can be washed in the washing machine a number of times.
• I turn off all lights, radios, etc. in a room when I leave it. I heard this can save as much as 10% on energy consumption.
• I work from home so I'm in my house all day. During the days now, I'm keeping my house one degree less warm in winter and one degree less cool in summer. Heard this as a tip on a radio show.
• I recycle glass, plastic and paper.
• I reuse the plastic bags that line my wastebaskets--just pull out the papers and so on in each wastebasket and dispose of it all in one larger bag.
• I reuse plastic grocery bags for garbage. They're a lot easier to carry out when they're full than giant ones.
• I reuse the small plastic produce bags to wrap foods in for the refrigerator.
• When I remember, I bring my recycled-cloth grocery bag into the store with me to cut down on the number of plastic bags they pack my groceries in.
• I pool as many errands as possible into a single car trip.
• Rather than buy disposables, I reuse commercial plastic containers for food storage.

I just saw a TV documentary about a master switch you can install that will turn off all those instant-on things like your TV, stereo, computers, etc. that keep draining energy even when off. It's pretty complex and expensive to install, but it saves a ton of energy. Hopefully they'll start building those into new homes and office buildings.

Can't wait to hear everyone's ideas!

Is truth subjective? How about when a friend refuses to see it?

The HeartMath Institute sends out a quote every day--some of them from famous people, some from the founders of the organization. Almost all are gems. Found this one today:

"Everyone stumbles over the truth from time to time, but most people pick themselves up and hurry off as though nothing ever happened." - Winston Churchill

It's easy to see this happen when you're looking at other people. How easily we can recognize when a friend or relative is turning away from a truth that's uncomfortable. Not so easy in ourselves, of course.

The big question we face when we see it going on with a friend is, where does our responsibility lie? Are we supposed to point the "truth" out to the friend who can't see it or who disagrees about it? What most likely happens if we do is the friend gets angry with us, feels misunderstood and judged. Because the fact is, when someone's ignoring the truth, it's usually because they are either unable or unwilling to acknowledge it. In any case, it doesn't appear to be truth to them at all. So you can come off as preachy or holier-than-thou if you bring it up--even if you do it very diplomatically.

Do you gauge your course of action by whether you think it will make a difference? Do you only say something if the person is putting herself in imminent danger? Some people choose never to say anything, and that's always safe. But if you want to be truly intimate with another person (whether it's a close friend, a significant other, or a family member), that's where the choice becomes more complicated.

The best course is to let love guide you. But that's often easier said than done. In an insightful book called The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm, written originally some 40 years ago, the author talks about the components of love being care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. Though a few of his ideas are dated, it's worth reading this book to get a deeper perspective on the meaning of love in all its forms--and sound guidelines about when and how to discuss a difficult issue with someone you care about.

Working mom missing her baby - what to do?

Saw a question from a new mom about how can you stand to only see your 7-week-old baby when you get home exhausted from work and he's fussy and crying ‘til he goes to sleep.

How do you cope, indeed. I was a single mom for 11 years, and now I'm a single grandma of a single-daughter's little girl. It's heartbreaking to leave your baby--there's no way around it. It never gets easy, either, though perhaps only slightly less wrenching when they're older. The only thing you can do is try to put things in perspective. Making sure the baby is well-cared for when you're at work is most important, and then follow the good advice of other moms for finding ways to make your time with your little one count as much as possible. Remember, you are the mom! Nobody and nothing can take that away from you.

But one of the most empowering things you can do is to think creatively about what other ways you can earn a living besides the 9 to 5 grind. Even if it means cutting back on your lifestyle, what’s it worth to have more time with your little one? Read all you can about freelancing and about alternate ways of generating revenue. Think about your talents and how you could turn them into a business to meet some unfilled need out there in the world.

It's not that you'd be putting in a whole lot less time with your own business--but you could do it more on your own terms. Work in the evenings after the baby goes to sleep. Work during the day by paying a babysitter for a few hours a day instead of all day. If you have another income in the household, it should be easier. But even single moms can get creative this way. One single mom I know recently decided to become a real estate agent so she can have more control over her schedule.

Think with your whole soul! You're sure to find a way out of this agonizing dilemma.

Live with passion and harmony - a CEO's perspective

Got this link from a colleague today--the CEO of advertising giant Saatchi & Saatchi lecturing to a student group at Wharton about business. Loved listening to this guy's English accent as he spoke of looking at a world without limitations -- only possibilities. Perfect advice for single working women -- give up the struggle for balancing (which equals compromise), and live with joy in all you do. Easier said than done, you say? Yeah, but utterly possible when we open our hearts and minds.

The main points of the lecture:

• Ideas are the currency of the future
• Ideas are emotion-based
• o Rational – leads to conclusions
• o Emotions lead to action
• o Fail fast. Learn fast. Fix fast.
• Insight trumps data/information – research doesn’t yield insight
• Develop foresight as a result of your insight
• And/And – it’s about integration, not compromise – not work/life balance, but continuous joy. Combine passion and harmony
• Forget mission statements – what’s your dream?
• When given command, take charge and do what’s right
• The role of business is to make the world a better place

Here's how the speaker does it:

• Spends time with the leaders of tomorrow (lectures, teaching)
  
• Pays Saatchi associates to give 10% of their time to pro bono causes
• Bought @Now – all about sustainability. Thinking blue not green--blue skies, blue oceans. Consulting with huge companies about becoming sustainable.

These are big things he's doing. But even small things can make a great difference to our world--and a huge difference to your life. Read Creative Visualization by Shakti Gawain. Read You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay. Don't stay stuck if you feel that way. Life is too short!

Book review: Wife Goes On - women getting single again

"Wife Goes On" by Leslie Lehr is a witty, sexy novel about what it feels like to get divorced. Four characters, each woman going through a divorce in a completely different way, connect with each others' lives and find out that they have something very important in common--the overwhelming emotional burdens that come with losing your status as part of a couple. One of the main characters talks about the great mystery of the divorce process. She realizes after a long struggle to find her way that the process has an incredibly steep learning curve. And once you "get" what's it's all about, you have a vast store of information that's now useless for you and only of interest to someone else just starting.

A quote begins to express some of the book's sharp observations about what it means to be single in our society. An exchange between two waitresses in a restaurant:

'The four in the corner's clearing, but the server just got stiffed and there's a VIP party due. We need a loser table.', 'I beg your pardon?' Diane said. The waitress turned around 'Oh, I'm sorry, that's just an expression. It means table for one.'

The expression shows unthinking prejudice that's not unlike the accepted use of racist language that was so common about African Americans in our country for generations.

If we change the language, we can start changing the thinking. We're working on it...

Abortion vis-a-vis single motherhood

Interesting interview in the Cornell Sun with a pro-life advocate. Says abortion has become the easy choice for young women who get pregnant--and that abortion betrays feminism.

The woman makes a really important point--women are not adequately supported by our society. Single mothers in particular must generally learn to leap tall buildings just to survive with their child(ren). Saying all single women who get pregnant should become mothers is kind of like saying abstinence-only is a good way to prevent teens from having sex. It's plain not happening.

Our society not only pays women less but also disapproves of single mothers and denies them access to benefits that most married couples take for granted. Asking a woman to give birth to her accidentally conceived baby no matter what the circumstances is forcing her to start life with her baby with two strikes against them. It's not surprising that abortion is often the choice. And as the African American pro-lifer--who herself had an abortion when she was young "so my child wouldn't become a statistic"--rightly points out, nothing stays with a woman like an abortion. So let's not pretend that it's an "easy" choice.

Being a single woman today means you're part of the 51% majority of women in America who are. With numbers like that, it's time for our society to start finding a new attitude.

Movie review: Door to Door

Saw this gem of a made-for-cable movie Tuesday night. William H. Macy plays Bill Porter, a guy with cerebral palsy, whose mother believes unquestioningly in his ability to do whatever he wants. The story chronicles his career as a door to door salesman--and the profound effects he has on those he comes in touch with. Five stars for tender, tough and true human relationships.