Is truth subjective? How about when a friend refuses to see it?

The HeartMath Institute sends out a quote every day--some of them from famous people, some from the founders of the organization. Almost all are gems. Found this one today:

"Everyone stumbles over the truth from time to time, but most people pick themselves up and hurry off as though nothing ever happened." - Winston Churchill

It's easy to see this happen when you're looking at other people. How easily we can recognize when a friend or relative is turning away from a truth that's uncomfortable. Not so easy in ourselves, of course.

The big question we face when we see it going on with a friend is, where does our responsibility lie? Are we supposed to point the "truth" out to the friend who can't see it or who disagrees about it? What most likely happens if we do is the friend gets angry with us, feels misunderstood and judged. Because the fact is, when someone's ignoring the truth, it's usually because they are either unable or unwilling to acknowledge it. In any case, it doesn't appear to be truth to them at all. So you can come off as preachy or holier-than-thou if you bring it up--even if you do it very diplomatically.

Do you gauge your course of action by whether you think it will make a difference? Do you only say something if the person is putting herself in imminent danger? Some people choose never to say anything, and that's always safe. But if you want to be truly intimate with another person (whether it's a close friend, a significant other, or a family member), that's where the choice becomes more complicated.

The best course is to let love guide you. But that's often easier said than done. In an insightful book called The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm, written originally some 40 years ago, the author talks about the components of love being care, responsibility, respect, and knowledge. Though a few of his ideas are dated, it's worth reading this book to get a deeper perspective on the meaning of love in all its forms--and sound guidelines about when and how to discuss a difficult issue with someone you care about.

Former TV star's advice on living alone

She was the cute and savvy sidekick on the 60s television series "Get Smart." At some point in her life Barbara Feldon's marriage dissolved and nothing else seemed on the horizon. Eventually, she adapted and is now thriving--her book, "Living alone and loving it: a guide to relishing the solo life," offers some cool advice. A few points:

• Stop imagining that marriage is a solution for loneliness.
• Nurture a glowing self image that is not dependent on an admirer.
• Value connections that might be overlooked.
• Develop your creative side.
• End negative thinking. (Just say "Stop it!" when those thoughts intrude.)

A really important item: Live within your means – ruthlessly. Give up the idea of an ideal caretaker who will provide a safe haven and relieve you of your responsibility for your financial security.

Like this one. Treasure your home – it is a portrait of what you think of yourself. Explore your own taste – unfettered. “Your space is the litmus test of your self-esteem.”

And especially appreciate this one: “Our romantic nature is one of the dearest aspects of being human. Whether it is expressed directly in mating or sublimated in friendship, affection, fantasy or art, it deserves to be celebrated and encouraged to take wing.” Concentrate on the loving connections in your life – not on what is missing.