SWWANs (and other working women) speak out

This Toronto newspaper columnist wrote about a guy complaining about his wife and, boy, did she get an earful back from women. Here's a really good one from a SWWAN in Chicago:

"From Exhausted: As a single young woman who works in a male-dominated industry I hear gripes about the wife all day long. Here's a thought: DIVORCE! Unless children are involved (and then there are gripes about child support). You should've thought twice before dating and marrying that materialistic, gold-digging, Barbie-doll huh, dude? Personally, I work two jobs to support myself. I pay for my own home, make car payments, pay the bills, cut the grass, do the laundry, blah, blah, blah. If this guy (and several co-workers) is typical of what guys think and feel behind women's backs, I'm dumping my boyfriend tonight and buying a dog."

Read the rest of the entertaining and illuminating responses here.

How many SWWAN moms

The numbers hurt. Got these amazing statistics on single parents from a story in an Iowa newspaper (from an Alabama news source) about a young widowed single mom:

"According to the 2000 Census, 12 million people were single parents. From 1970-2000, the number of single mothers increased from 3 million to 10 million, while the number of single fathers increased from 393,000 to 2 million. The number of children under 18 living with single parents went from 11.9 percent in 1970 to 26.7 percent in 2000. Of those, 22.4 percent lived with their mothers.
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Now you know those numbers are even higher in 2006, and seemingly continuing to go up for the foreseeable future.

Is this the perfect time for SWWAN? Yep, a SWWAN caring for her little ones without a mate works extra hard, no doubt about it, and we're here to help make life a little easier in as many ways as we can. We're working on our discounts and extra services programs--starting with Chicago and moving out to the world.

If you have a little one, here's a simple online story about baby swans (the bird kind). It comes with questions to spark your child's curiosity. Enjoy.

Why do guys get sleepy after sex?

Is it insensitivity when a guy falls asleep right after sex? This article talks about the chemical reasons why guys might feel sleepier. Well, I guess everybody's different, but no matter how much science you hand me, if I have a choice between a guy who says he loves cuddling afterwards and a snorer, my biology's gonna be all over the first guy.

NYU (the home of the blog where this aricle appears) accompanies the story with a photo of a full-frontal-nudity sculpture from 200 B.C. Just look at the pecs on that guy...

SWWAN moms-by-choice can find half-siblings

Did you know that there's an official bureau, The Donor Sibling Registry, that maintains listings of the children born of semen donors to single-mothers-by-choice!? And if your baby and you are the only two members of your family, or your siblings aren't interested, and/or your parents are old or gone, you can get your child connected to half-brothers and half-sisters--in the case of prolific donors, LOTS of them--by registering with this service.

Thanks to Jennifer Egan for her wonderful "sperm donor" story in a March issue of the New York Times Magazine. Have absolutely no idea how I got a copy of this magazine in my possession, but I have no doubt that it was put there so I could help SWWAN moms who don't yet know about this great service. So here's their website. Co-founder Wendy Kramer puts her email in there so you can write specifically for information. Very cool stuff, Wendy and Ryan. Blessings to you and to all SWWAN moms-by-choice and their families.

Single working women buying cars

Ever been to a car dealership where they pretty much ignored you when you walked in? That's one of the things we're working on changing with SWWAN. We're looking for car dealers whose executives--yes, the salesperson and the general manager, but also the leader of the company--are willing to get behind the idea that women who come in alone to buy a car deserve the very best treatment.

Do you guys (I usually use that term to mean anybody, but the fact is most car dealership owners are men) know how women talk to each other? And maybe her husband doesn't want to hear about how his wife was treated when she went in there alone, but the single woman who's talking to her single friends is sure going to tell them when she has a bad experience. And we single women listen to each other because we know that we're all pretty perceptive about when we're being given the business.

So send us your stories about your experiences--good or bad--buying a car here.

Other people help keep your perspective

Does this ever happen to you? You live alone. It's 4 in the morning. You wake up and start worrying about something. At times like that, I find it hard to keep things in perspective. There are times when I'm obssessing about some issue, and then later when I mention it to a friend, that person looks at it in a completely different way. It can feel like such a relief to see another viewpoint.

I remember several years ago when my life was more complicated. I owned and lived in an older home--a rental property--that required constant repairs and maintenance. Plus I had another rental property in another part of town. Being a single mom at the time and working full time, it was a continual hassle to find people who would look at the things that needed to be done, give me a fair estimate, and agree to set an appointment to do the work. Because of course, most of the time the repairs were too small to be of interest to a lot of repairpersons. So they'd agree to come and look (for which I had to find time for an appointment and often have to arrange to stay home from work for it), after which they'd simply never respond to my phone calls because there wasn't enough money in it for them. Then I'd have to start the whole process over again.

Well, anyway, I'd go to my 6 a.m. aerobics class where I would see several women friends (all married). And I would describe my woes to them. One day one of them said to me, oh, you've always got some drama going on! I was taken aback.

Went home and thought about what she'd said. Next day when I saw them all again I said, hey, you know, you guys have your significant others to talk to about things. In my case, you ARE my significant others--so I naturally want to bounce everything off you guys.

Friends are treasures anyway, but when you live alone, they're like gold.

Prototype of our SWWAN lapel pin

Soon you'll be able to see our SWWAN logo in a beautiful silver pin! All founding members receive a copy as our thank you. Welcome, all. Our great adventure in earth shaking has begun...

Single-working-woman Kirsten Osolind opens doors--and minds

Let me tell you, there are some brilliant women out there kicking butt and sharing their knowledge and success with other women. Check out single-working-woman Kirsten Osolind's website and blog about connecting enterprising women with corporations.

This lady has the ticket to what it takes to uncover and highlight the successes women are having, to point to resources for those who are on the way, and to hold a shining beacon high for those who are only dreaming so far. She talks about finance, venture capital, bootstrapping yourself up, applying for and winning awards, and every other thing it takes to build a successful lifestyle--single or otherwise.

Listen to her story:"

I speak from experience: I've held multiple jobs, been fired, been rehired, been a corporate exec, an entrepreneur, a blonde, a brunette, weighed 50 pounds more than I do today and 15 pounds less, recovered from a fluke stroke (yes, you read it here), made money, lost money, been homeless, lived in 15 different cities, dated multiple good and mad men (one of whom told me all I was good for was shopping for shoes)...and bounced back each time. I'm not afraid to admit it -- I love reinvention!"

And here's one of her early blog entries about why women who start businesses have to run in the red far longer.

Hats off to you, Kirsten. Thanks for the incredible energy you're putting out to provide information and help women succeed. Truly inspiring.

The end of the endless voice mail!

We single working women have to laugh or we'd go insane. Given the extreme hurry that our world is in these days, we have little choice but to keep the pace if we want to live in an area where there are enough affordable services that we can get what we need in order to perform all the duties and obligations of our lives.

Talking to a fellow SWWAN on the phone yesterday, when I told her about how we are negotiating discounts and special services for SWWANs, she said, you know how when you get the voice messages that say, Press 1 for Spanish, Press 2 for English...she says she keeps waiting for them to say, Press 3 for single moms!

Yep, that's the kind of thinking we need from corporate America!

Chris King - single working woman dynamo

Many thanks to single-working-woman Chris King who writes a fantastic newsletter with productivity and creativity tips and resources. She tells us in today's edition how to get some good learnin' on your own time:

Free online classes in a plethora of topics, from digital photography, better PowerPoint presentations (heaven knows most of the ones we see could use some help) to oh-just-about-anything-you-can-imagine. HP's are here. CNET's are here.

Chris is a writer, storyteller, aerobic instructor (11 classes a week!) and facilitator. She's all over the Internet and can give you great recommendations (her latest site for this is here). She's a powerful, high-energy single working woman who gives her all to everyone who comes in contact with her (in person and online). To SUBSCRIBE to her "Random Tips and Productive Resources" along with "Portfolio Potpourri," put "subscribe" in the subject line and e-mail here.

Thanks, Chris, for all you do.

Single-woman business owners - Wow!

Many single working women dream of one day being their own boss. Part of what we do at SWWAN is donate 1% of all our proceeds to the Grameen Foundation, which helps underprivileged people (surprise, mainly women!) from all over the world by giving them low-cost loans and training on how to start their own successful businesses. It's truly an organization that empowers people, and we are very proud to be able to support their work.

Meanwhile, check out the Solo Entrepreneur blog over at our fellow women's site WorldWIT (stands for Women. Insights. Technology.) Mary McDonald operates her own consulting business and writes about day-to-day challenges of being a solo woman business owner--surely the most gratifying--and potentially terrifying--way to earn your living in this world. She talks about the ups and downs, the cash flow fears, the feast-or-famine cycles, the challenges of cloning yourself.

Now add to that your single state, and you're talking about women who have strength and courage in such abundance that they are an inspiration to all of us. Love to hear your tales of single-woman, solo entrepreneur adventures. Send 'em to us here.

Eating out by yourself

What's your favorite trick for feeling comfortable when you eat in a nice restaurant by yourself? Reading something--a book, newspaper, etc.--is a popular solution. The only thing wrong with that is, you may inadvertently be depriving yourself of the complete enjoyment of your food. I know I always tend to eat more and enjoy it less when I'm reading--can't pay attention both to the content and to the food.

One way I've done it is to write in my journal. I can really be involved in the present experience when I write down what's actually happening to me and around me. It seems to me that when you look around at others and the surroundings with a pen in your hand, it doesn't appear to other people as a) nosy, b) lonely, c) threatening if they can clearly see that you're thinking about what to write next! And it has the added bonus of giving people an excuse to talk to you if they want to--kind of like having a dog or a baby. Gives you a slight air of mystery and gives others a little icebreaker when they can ask you, oh, are you a writer?

And the answer, of course, is yes! Becaues you are a writer when you keep a journal. Doesn't matter that you failed grammar and spelling in third grade. Who cares when it's your personal writing? I highly recommend journal writing. It can be very surprising--never know what you might discover about yourself.

Elegant, top-quality magazine for women - BeE Woman

Got a copy of a wonderful magazine in the mail the other day. Have no idea where it came from--I didn't subscribe as far as I know. It's called BeE Woman, For the woman who is interested in politics, lifestyle and finance. It's supposed to appeal to "active, hardworking, educated women between 25 and 54" (who pays attention to age restrictions?).

Listen to this article title: "Are you a little bit married?" Reflections on the fallout for so many couples who live together without formal marriage (surprise! it often turns out to be a bad deal).

This sounds like it was created just for a lot of us SWWANs. ..."enlightened, empowered, engaged, inspired, and striving for financial independence." Interesting, I see they got a lot of press coverage early on in 2005, but don't see anything for this year.

Well, let us at SWWAN be the first to write about you, BeE, and tell you what a stellar publication you're putting out. As we build our membership we will certainly be recommending your magazine to everyone! Check out their website here.